1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
The look when hours are left on the clock #SlightGangstaWork #chuckle #SlightlyAccurate #MegaPuff #NoLongerConservative #GaugedAndPluggedOut #FakeFace #RealBrows #Boulet #LightingGotMeLookingNearChocolate #InTheBackOfAnOfficeSuiteWithTheLightsOnTypeSex
Katt Williams on Dave Chappelle: “But Dave Chappelle was decapitated in front of us. And until we deal that. Until we deal with the fact that a devout Muslim was accused of being a crackhead. And until we establish the fact that they said he went to Africa to smoke cocaine when we know they don’t have running water and food over there. When they don’t have paved roads over there. You saying he flew past Chicago and Miami and LA and New York and Detroit, you saying he went past Cleveland and Fort Pierce, Florida, and he went past Okeechobee and Oakland, you saying he went all the way to another country where they not eating? You talking about somebody who has a wife and children, five children, and lives on a farm, he doesn’t live here in Hollywood. You saying you convince people that person was an insane crackhead? And he hasn’t been on movies and TV for eight years is that correct? Ok then don’t tell me about what you wanna tell me, I just watched you decapitate him in front of me… Then when he made 500 million dollars, even though his contract said he was supposed to get half of it, they said he made too much for the contract to be valid, so we’ll offer you 10% of what you made. You mean he made 500 million and they offered him 50? Yes. And he said, “what do you think my fans are gonna say? When they find out you offered me 10% of what I made you.” And they said, “your fans will believe that you’re a crazy crackhead by the time you get home. And my nigga got on a flight in LA and by the time he got to Ohio it was so. And eight years later he hasn’t been in a movie or television and is just now trying to do his real comeback in Radio City Music Hall. It’s bees like that sometimes.
I don’t force smiles bc when I do they look like that. 😅😁 #BabyThugDancer #Tbt #FreshPress
*women’s study’s professor voice* When Onika destroys the cucumber and the banana she is destroying the male gaze. Reminding men that this performance isn’t about them. We are reminded of this when she eats the strawberry instead.